We Were Deferred

We Were Deferred MIT was our dream school. The blogs were one of the main reasons for that. We read the blogs religiously throughout high school. We followed the tails of the bloggers, laughed at their jokes (or in the case of Ceri’s vlogs, her friend’s jokes too), cheered at their accomplishments, and sympathized with their struggles. Their experiences, although adding up to only a small sample of MIT experiences, painted a beautifully complex, diverse, flawed, and unique depiction of MIT, an MIT we saw ourselves living and learning in. We dreamed about applying all throughout high school, questioned if our test scores were good enough, stressed if the activities we did were the “right” ones, imagined our interviews hundreds of times before they happened, and thought about them endlessly after they happened to try to remember if we said everything we wanted to. Early Action decision day was on a Wednesday for us. We honestly can’t remember anything extremely special or specific or memorable or out-of-the-ordinary that happened during that day at school. At that point, it was already the end of semester crunch, so we were probably just going through the motions 1st class, 2nd, break, 3rd class, etc. After getting out at 2:20pm, we had a 0-45 min wait time for our bus depending on how ready/not sleep deprived we were to run the 10-minute-walk to our bus stop to get there by 2:26 pm, the time our bus fairly regularly arrived at. We definitely wanted to kill time that day (since decisions came out at 6:28 pm), so we didnt even try running as we usually would try to do, we missed the first bus, and we got on the second. Then, there was the actual 1-1.5 hour commute depending on traffic. After getting home and eating food, it was probably around 5:15 pm. We had a little over an hour to kill, so we definitely watched something, probably a youtu be video or many from the cooking or art or artsy cooking youtube channel we were obsessed with then. We didn’t check our decisions exactly at 6:28 pm, so we must have done a great job at distracting ourselves. We actually only realized what the time was when a friend texted us, asking us about our decisions. It was probably 6:30 or 6:31 pm. We logged in. Our letters wouldnt load for a dreadfully long time. Here is a gif portraying the eternal and existential dread that we faced in that moment. (length warning: 17 seconds. content warning: it’s weird (but hopefully also funny)) Danny’s decision finished loading first, and then Allan’s shortly after. Yep, DA twins got DAferred (sorry not sorry for the pun). We were both faced with that infamous letter that boiled down to “to be determined.” We were really upset. We didn’t get the “yes” we had hoped for and worked for for so long. It felt like defeat. We knew that it wasn’t a “no”. And we knew that people have gotten in after being deferred. We read posts just like this one. But we couldn’t help feeling the way we did. We had many long conversations reevaluating everything we had done in high school to try to find that *one* thing that caused our deferrals. We regretted not doing more. We tried comparing ourselves to others we knew of that got in. We just thought a lot. It wasn’t healthy. With that said, things did get better. The force of gravity is inversely proportional to distance (okay technically distance squared, but who’s keeping track) and that definitely held true with the distance from the event. The further we got from December 16th, the less heavy it began to feel. We began to think about the whole thing more reasonably. We had been given another chance. Sure it’s slim, but still, a chance is chance. When winter break hit, we had to forget about MIT to finish up all our other applications. This process honestly helped us. Because to be totally honest, we had done very minimal research into other colleges (comparatively to the amount we did into MIT) until we applied to them during winter break. And the deferral from MIT became less painful when we, for the first time in all of high school, really allowed ourselves to see our futures in schools that weren’t MIT. After having that experience, we realized how potentially toxic the idea of a dream school can be, or at least how toxic it was for us. As the saying goes, “don’t put all your eggs in one basket.” It’s totally fine and even great if you are really passionate about one school, but there is absolutely no harm and only benefit in looking into and being really passionate about more than one school. This is something we wished we would have realized, because it would’ve saved us a lot of stress and heart-ache in the long run. Envision multiple futures and find the happiness in every option. After we finished applying to colleges, we tried being as calm as possible about all our pending decisions. But we definitely had moments scouring admissions statistics pages, many of which felt like they said, “rounding up, we accept 0% of applicants.” When not doing the above, we continued doing what we’ve done throughout high school. Continued doing math club. Continued trying really hard in our classes. Continued taking challenging ones. Continued applying to scholarships. Continued knitting, and art-ing, and practicing piano. Just continued. We put some things in our fun form, like a recent math-shape knitting project, and our current status in a scholarship. As more things happened after submitting the fun form, like updates from the scholarship, results from a math competition, and getting onto a math team for a different competition, we emailed MIT admissions and all the other schools we had applied to. If there was one thing that we felt we did correctly (or as correct as you can possibly feel while navigating the complex-messy-maze that is applying to college), it was that we didn’t give into our initial feelings of doubt or lose motivation after our deferrals. No matter how discouraging it might feel, don’t let a co llege decision weigh you down. Use it instead as motivation to excel. This is really vague and you may not know what to do with that lofty phrase, but in the case of senior year, just dont get a really bad case of senioritis. Thats easier said than done, as with most things involving this time of high school. But youre almost finished, so really try your best to end the quarter, semester, term, year, whatever off strongly! A few days before pi day, we felt that force of gravity again. We were so close to finding out about our rejection. We accepted expected it. It was a Monday. We walked to our bus stop again. “Welp, today is the day. Ahhhh…. Yep.. okay yeaahhhhhh……………..aaaaaaaaa….” We got home again at probably around 5:15 pm. We distracted ourselves. Logged in. Waited for our screens to load. It was all too familiaruntil…itwasn’t…. When our screens loaded, we were in shock. Utter shock. We immediately told our parents. And messaged our friends. Had this decision come in the early cycle, we would have *immediately* decided that we would be committing. But because of how much we began looking at other schools by the time of regular action, we did not have that certainty. We only actually decided that we would comMIT after CPW, after experiencing the MIT culture that we fell in love with initially through the blogs, and parted ways with from December to March. It was a full circle experience that we do not regret. The applying-to-college process can be really hard. It was for us. So, we just want to let you know, that no matter what any decisions may seem like they are telling you, you are worth it. If you get in after being deferred, thats great, and we hope to see you on campus! But if not (or if you didnt in early action), and many dont unfortunately, you will take your talents and passions to a different school that will be so lucky to have you. Or you will take a gap year. Or you will go to a school and then transfer. Or you will start a company. Or maybe end up at MIT for grad school. Or you will the list is honestly endless. There is a world of possibilities. Making it this far is already something to be proud of and, whether MIT will be a part of your future or not, continue pursuing your dreams and make the world a better place (wow that probably sounds really cheesy, but we really mean it genuinely). And one last thing. Between all the craziness that is senior year of high school, give yourself time to do the things you do for the pure joy of it, the things you wrote about in essay 1. And while doing that, forget about MIT, forget about the future. Be present. Be calm.  Breathe. And if it helps at all, here is a very long list of things we watch/listen to/enjoy when we want to de-stress: music (most from disney/pixar films/shorts)  that makes us happy Brave by Sara Bareilles With the Right Music by Rosser and Sohne   L.O.V.E. from The Parent Trap Handshake scene from The Parent Trap Send Me On My Way by Rusted Root from Matilda Hawaiian Rollercoaster Ride Lilo and Stitch Opening Scene from Lilo and Stitch I Can Go the Distance from Hercules I Wont Say Im in Love from Hercules The Gospel Truth from Hercules Journey to the Past from Anastasia Once Upon a December from Anastasia When Will My Life Begin from Tangled Touch the Sky from Brave Blue Umbrella  (Pixar short) Lava  (Pixar short) Le Festin from Ratatouille Opening Scene from Inside Out   How Far Ill Go from Moana Where You Are from Moana Here Comes a Thought from Steven Universe Peace and Love from Steven Universe Sadies Song from Steven Universe Stronger Than You from Steven Universe + music video Thats How You Know from Enchanted Almost There from Princess And the Frog musical soundtracks that make us happy (+ our favorite songs from them) Amélie introvert that likes to help people in paris, raspberry finger tip disease Times Are Hard for Dreamers   Tour de France mash-up of these two^ Anastasia lost russian princess finds her memories, family, and love In My Dreams My Petersburg Journey to the Past + live performance  + Darren Criss and Original Anastasia In a Crowd of Thousands  + studio recording Well Go From There A Very Potter Musical hilarious parody of Harry Potter. Also Draco watch it for Draco Back to Hogwarts A Very Potter Sequel Sequel to AVPM Coolest Girl  + Darren Criss version No way A Very Potter Senior Year A one time performance of the final installment of AVPM with the actual actress that played Luna Lovegood from the HP movies! F*** the tie Beautiful: The Carol King Musical about the legendary singer/songwriter Carol King Beautiful  + live performance I Feel the Earth Move Into the Woods A mish-mash of many fairy tales Agony On the Steps of the Palace Natasha, Pierre, and The Great Comet of 1812 THIS IS OUR ALL TIME FAVORITE MUSICAL. Based on a 70-page chunk of War and Peace, its about a Russian princess and her love story. No One Else + studio recording In My House  + studio recording Waitress   + Sara Bareilles singing most of the songs pies, falling in love with a doctor, and amazing music made by Sara Bareilles What Baking Can Do + an adorable kids cover of it and Sara Bareilles cheering him on When He Sees Me Bad Idea Opening Up (Finale)  + live performance mash-up videos that make us happy or laugh Dear Evan Hansen Getaway Cerulean Monologue Ellen BombShell Julie and Julia Meltdown Drunk History Julia Child History of Japan/Earth Ze Frank True Facts You Got This Travis Dear Kitty Ice Skating to Journey to the Past Ice Skating to Once Upon a December cartoons that make us happy (in order of shortest to longest) First episode of The Summoning Pilot of Infinity Train Bee and PuppyCat  (only first episode linked, but the rest are also on YouTube) Over the Garden Wall The Legend of Korra Avatar: the Last Airbender Steven Universe 3 you got this! we believe in you! 3 Post Tagged #Early Action #Pi Day